GA

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Money Fantasies and other Traumas

I can probably state with certainty that Golddigging has existed since human societies were formed, and will likely last as long as human societies do.

I fantasize a lot about being rich, because I'm a lazy turd who hates having to work for a living, but who hates having to worry about money even more.  But what I never fantasize about is marrying somebody for money.  This is due to my disinterest in getting married.  But I've mentioned that before.  And I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, entrepreneurial or business-savvy, which leaves me with the sole option of lotteries and/or the Publishers Clearing House sweepstake.  I don't buy anything from the latter, but do go to its website daily and "skip" my way through the pages and pages and pages of catalog items, until I get to the "Thanks for Entering!" screen.  There was one item I can recall purchasing from PCH, some 20+ years ago: a subscription to TV Guide. And that's it.

I suppose if some nerdy, asexual billionnaire inexplicably took a fancy to me, I'd consider panning for gold, but overall the world of the wealthy holds no fascination for me, other than the "has lots of money" part.  See, much like my weight-loss philosopy, my Magical Lottery Windfall philosophy is that I wouldn't change, to the best of my efforts.  I could afford to be lots and lots more generous, like to charities and treating people to stuff, but there's no way I'd change my wardrobe, hobbies, or interests.  I was thinking that I'd even keep my car, but I'd probably just sell it to a friend for a dollar, then buy some tree-hugging environmentalist kind of wondercar that runs on happy thoughts, because I could finally afford one.

I'd also get a 3-bedroom house, already built, and then probably solar panels or some other tree-hugging environmentalist shit like that.  My sensibilities already lie there; I just don't have the dough to indulge them.  Then I'd turn the inside into Disneyland.  Well, kind of.  Each room would be "themed" like the park is, minus thrill rides.  I'm going to be "theming" my rooms for the condo coming soon to a future near me, but not on the scale I'd like.

But God knows, and I do, too, that there would be one big consequence of living in Money-is-No-Object Land: I would become a useless human being.  Oh, I'd be hitting the Donate! button for lots of charities, but I'd be doing it from home.  Without being forced to interact with people because I still need a job in order to pay bills, I would quickly morph into an invisible person, only venturing out to get things I need (groceries) and not really talking to anyone.  I'd visit the Disney and other local amusement parks a LOT more often, but not to make new friends, only to amuse myself.  I wouldn't travel much more than I do now, which is as rarely as possible.  I just don't enjoy the experience of being away from home.  It doesn't help that I'm not an adventurous person at all.  I should be interested in visiting other lands and experiencing other cultures, languages and foods firsthand, but that's never been me.  My idea of camping is to pull into a luxury RV park in a fully-loaded motorhome.  When I travel, I want it to be so luxurious that I never want to return home... well, unless my home looks like the Haunted Mansion.  I can't afford that, so I don't travel much.  I don't even like skiing or snowboarding in local places like Lake Tahoe.  Too much effort!

Hey, I never said I was a "deep" person.

No comments:

Post a Comment