I'm fat and always have been. By "always," I mean straight out of the womb. Most people are, of course. Then you're expected to lose the baby fat and stop being the Pillsbury Doughboy, etc. In my case, that never happened. There are photos of me from childhood where I was... well, less fat, proportionally. I guess you could say that I was merely overweight in the photos. But I have never- EEEEVER - been whatever weight I was supposed to be at my various ages. My joke about clothing size has always been, "I remember when I was a size 12. I was 12!" Fortunately this size/age ratio stopped in my 20s. In other words, I have not reached size 44.
As for the frothy-mouthed battle-cry of the health-obsessed, "Where were your parents???!?!?!!?!?!?!?", Mom was there. But I have a medical condition whose daily medication - I'm told - did and still does make it extra difficult for me to maintain a normal weight, let alone lose any excess. She probably accepted that as gospel and so didn't try to run me ragged in outdoor sports and other things that I hate. That's cool with me. The only time in my life that I got exercise on a regular basis was when I was taking martial arts. I'd leave the hour-long workouts carrying my own personal kiddie pool of sweat, 3-4 nights a week. And didn't lose a single pound. Ever. I also never "felt great!" after those workouts. I'm afraid such things don't happen to me.
Anyway, I've had moderate success over the years for the very rare occasions that I've made any real effort to lose. I think that my grand total at one time was 30 pounds, 15 of which were then gained back after returning to California. Not, as far as I can recall, due to a change in diet. I think it was because I walked less. I had to do a lot more walking to get to and from work when I worked in Boston.
Recently I've had some frustratingly slow progress with weight loss - but still progress- using a calorie-counter website that a coworker clued me into. She'd already lost a bunch using it. I never would've noticed if she hadn't told me, because I'm terrible at noticing weight loss, but there you are. She insisted that it was (mostly) painless, so I gave it a try. As I said, my body really hates not being fat, so it's been a frustratingly slow process, but at least something is happening. And has it been painless? Uh--- well, let's say that I'm not used to depriving myself of anything. I'm still alive, though.
Now, if any of you have done this sort of thing before, you might have noticed that a lot of people put Inspirational Messages and goals on their profiles, message board signatures, and the like. Some include lists of things they'll do as rewards for reaching goals. My coworker and I bantered a little about goals, and I realized that, when it comes to weight-loss goals and pledges, one of these things (me) is not like the other.
As an example, here is my profile for that website:
Why I Want To Get In Shape
Because I am fat
My Inspirations
People who are not fat
Friends
herdthinner does not have any friends yet.
Here is the rest of my pledge, then:
- I will not post before and after pictures of myself
- I will not give up my daily banana or diet Pepsi! Don't even suggest it!
- I will not change my hair or style of clothing if I make it to "not fat"
- I will not buy any new clothes except for ones that flat-out won't fit anymore (ex, pants. hopefully bras, too)
- This is because I'm already wearing the clothes that I like, and I'm too lazy to try to maintain any new hairstyle
- I will probably not bother with getting a swimsuit, either. I don't like the beach, nor swimming in general
- Put away that glycemic index crap about my bananas and diet Pepsis, y'hear??
- I don't deprive myself of the things that I like and can afford, so there's no "reward" I would treat myself to if I actually do get to my goal weight. I suppose the loss would have to be its own reward. Yeah, so profound
- I will not drink 10 gallons of water a day like other health nuts seem to do. The doctor who originally advised the "8 glasses/day" bit has been trying to calm people down ever since, to no avail. I drink about 48 oz, or more accurately, choke it down, because I hate the taste of plain water. The rest is from fruit, soy juice, coconut juice and diet Pepsi
- If my new body causes heads to turn, that would be really weird, because I won't change my fashion sense, and my fashion sense = sneakers, slacks and T-shirts. Not very sexy
- I will not tsk or condescend towards other people who aren't on a similar program, nor tsk about other people's diets/lifestyles. This happens a lot on the message boards, you see
- What did I just say about the bananas and diet Pepsis, huh? This is a No Tsk Zone. Hey! Are you even reading my pledge?? Get back here!
As you can see, I'm not a "Be the Healthiest ME I can BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" kind of gal. As far as trumpeting my efforts, there's this post, and I discuss progress with my coworker/friend, and finally told family members I was doing this - the hesitation due to failing so many times before - and that's about it. Quietly losing the weight is my true goal. And having a banana and diet Pepsis (yes, plural) every day, dammit!
